Everyday I swim an ocean, fightin your memory like endless wavesI surrender to the truth, I'll always love you, but I know somedayI'm gonna reach the banks of a distant shore, where I won't miss you anymoreOnce in a while I ride the river, of whiskey wishes from an old shot glassBut the way it used to be follows me downstream, so I keep knockin em backTill I reahc the banks of a distant shore, where I won't miss you anymoreSomeday I'm gonna get there, It migfht take my last prayerOne of these days I'm gonna cross that ocean,some sweet angel will set me freeAnd they'll tell my stories, sing a song about glory, and read Psalm 23When I reach the banks of that distant shore, where I won't miss you anymoreGonna rest my soul in the hands of the lord, where I won't miss you anymore


Have you ever had this feeling like you were thinking about someone just as they were thinking about you? What if you miss the way they smiled or things they said but there was no way you could ever express how you felt. A prank call or just a call to here your voice once more. a little bit of history untold. a story written with a chapter missing? I said goodbye without knowing. Some days it feels like just yesterday and I wonder if you ever think of me anymore. Today I saw someone who reminded me of you. I drove right past him wishing I could get a better look. but it was too late I couldn't see him anymore. fightin' back your memory

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight i wanna cry

i need a real friend who understands me.

I'm always really tired for no reason. I wake up tired and it just continues throughout the day until I go to sleep. I'm getting kinda "tired" of this occurance.
I still have a lot of frustration and anger. There are some things I just don't understand.
I might be depressed. I don't know. I've never been so emotional before. I feel like such a girl. I just hope this pessimism goes away soon.
I put a deposit down on an apartment with Ryan yesterday. It confuses me. I want to do it but at the same time I feel a lot of people will be against it.

Anger is intriguing. I've never before had it so strongly. It shows what desire can do to you. I'd very much like to rant my frustrations right now but I don't think it will help a whole lot. Shame on me for desiring. I'll try not to ever do it again.

I know this is not a great subject for my first post but i can't help it. I just need somewhere to put my thoughts. I feel very alone right now. I guess i'm kinda struggling right now. With everything really. I feel stupid. i know i shouldn't be this way but my self-esteem has plummeted. I can't seem to do anything right and i just don't have that touch that i used to have. I'm always really tired and i always have something due that i should have done a long time ago.
I never have a minute to myself. I don't know how to study. my memory sucks. i study and think i'll do great and then fail it.. i don't have any really good friends. i'm surrounded by people i call my friends but no one that i truly love. i don't know whats happening next year. my boyfriend can never make up his mind. I just want to get away from everything. maybe i can move away and go to a different school. I want to escape. I just had spring break but it was non-existant. College was suppose to be a new start. what have i done? i've ruined my new start. why can't i do anything right?
I try to pray but it just doesn't feel the same as it used to. i feel empty. i want a relationship with god more than anything but i don't know where to begin. all of my beliefs have been torn down and i don't know where to start. catholic rules constantly bore down on me and make me feel like i'm doing somethin g wrong yet i can't be catholic anymore.

nmgfukb m,